Depending On God

Do you ever get to the point where you don't know what to do next and you just feel stuck? What do you do? Let me tell you what I am going through right now and how I should be handling it. It does not mean that I have "arrived" and don't fall back into panic and fear. I am just so thankful that I can recover from it quicker because I can give it to God and let him deal with it. It does not mean I sit there and do nothing. I am still working on the problem and my relationship with him, but, I just don't worry about it. I know it will turn out for the good in the long run - even if I am not sure about the outcome.




This may replace "Moving". I don't know where my emotions were when I wrote that.



All of a sudden, I was given one month to get everything out of the big mobile home I used to be in. I was given a place to store my things. It flooded. Okay, God, I give it all to you. (I should have done that earlier. He owns it all, anyway.)



Yesterday, mother and I went to look at an apartment. My feelings about it are all over the place. I am sure I will like it once I get in and settled. But, right now, I am having to deal with not being sure it is right for me. It is so small, and yet bigger than where I am now. It has lots of storage so I will love that. The kitchen is tiny but I suspect I will be able to make it work. Even as I type this, my mind is coming up with new ideas. I know it has to be God. I really suspect he wants me there. Mother and I were in agreement that it was the right one for me - So much so, we did not look at any other apartments.



As I type this, I realize I am finding that it is right. If you are at a loss about something. write about it. If you are like me, it settles so many questions and problems. God works through walking and writing with me. Find how he talks to you. Of course, prayer and Bible reading should be on the top of the list, but, I love how he uses other means, too.



Even as I am writing this, I remember more and realize this is for me.



The first thing I saw was a porch swing. I will spend lots of time sitting on it reading and just enjoying it.



There is also a piano and the lady was ecstatic when mother told her I play. (I guess I better practice on my keyboard.) I would rather sing, however, it will probably be good for me. Who says I can't do both?



So, I will go back to packing and try to remember that God is really in control. As a human, I know I will continue to grab it back. One day, prayerfully, I will remember to not take it back and let God handle it. I pray it is sooner than later.





© Copyright 2006 Mary Ann Chidlow (UN: merian at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.

Mary Ann Chidlow has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.

God's Beautiful Sky

It all started when I realized there were contrails in the sky from airplanes.




Now, being one who loves flight, I started looking for the planes. Before I left for a week, I had a lot of the schedules figured out so I could watch the planes make the contrails. Since I have been back, either I have forgotten the schedules or they have changed. Yesterday I happened to catch two planes making their trails in the sky. One was white during the day and the other was a pretty rosy orange as the sun was going down.



I cannot see the beauties of a sunrise. That is okay as it is hidden by wonderful big trees.



But, the sunset is gorgeous. Again, the very end of it is hidden by huge trees. However, I get to witness all the glorious colors that God has painted it with.



Some nights there are stripes of pink and orange going in all different directions from a central point. Last night they were swirls of color just everywhere. I could look in any direction and was rewarded with color. I did not come back inside until almost eight o'clock.



Against this glorious backdrop, there were birds playing in the air currents. They were swooping and spiraling and just riding the currents. I often wonder if they are just playing.



I did not want to come in as it was so beautiful, but, finally there were no more colors and it was beginning to get cool. As I gave up and came in, I knew it would happen again tomorrow and that the painting on the canvas of the sky would be totally different.

What Is Important?

Here I am at five in the morning considering what I need to put on my desktop. It is an almost clean slate. Oh, how I wish it would not get cluttered. But, alas, I just wonder how long it will be before I have it covered with folders and websites. When I realized I could put the sites in folders to keep them sorted was when I really went overboard. And, yet, I use the sites.




My daily devotionals are most important. It is easier for me to read them online than to try to handle a book.



Then, there are the Christian magazines along with some carefully chosen home keeping magazines. Then, the museums, church sites and on and on.



I pray I choose how I spend each day with the care I choose the sites on my desktop.



Do I stop and ask God before every important decision? Or for that matter, every decision? Oh, how I wish I could say yes. He would love it if we would. When life gets hectic, I forget. Then, I have to go back and tell Him I am sorry.



The world he gave us and the life he gives us are so wonderful. All we have to do is follow His plans for our life. Do we take the time to find out what He has in mind for us? It is better than anything we could dream up on our own. All we have to do is stop and listen for Him.



He comes as a soft whisper. He will not force us to follow his plans. We have to want to.



I pray everyone who reads this will listen for what God wants them to do. Try it. It just might make life a whole lot easier.

© Copyright 2006 Mary Ann Chidlow (UN: merian at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.

Mary Ann Chidlow has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.

Lessons From A Sunday Morning

It all starts with a busy Saturday night. Usually, I am right here and the phone does not ring so I have lots of time to plan for Sunday morning.




Last night was different.



I am beyond help with my first cell phone. I am learning slowly - very slowly. My favorite trick is to cut calls off before I get them answered.



I was walking up to put my trash out when I saw the neighbor's door open. I stopped to exchange pleasentries, ask yet another question about the cell phone, and ended up being asked in for ice cream. I explained I had to come back here to take care of a couple of things and then would come back. They promised they would come get me if I did not come back.



When I got back here my land line phone was ringing and I answered it. It was a friend and she was telling me that an out of town friend of ours was there. Well, I talked to her for a few minutes and then went back for the ice cream. We ate and then talked for a bit longer. When I finally got home, I did nothing but fall asleep.



So, when I woke up this morning, nothing was ready to go to church. Satan was alive and well. It seemed like everything I tried to do was beyond grasp.



Now, I have been rearranging and cleaning out a lot around here, so, things are not always where I think they are.



My purse can be in one of three places. It was in none of them. Finally, I just stopped and told satan he could keep this up if he wished, however, I was going to church if it was in zori and my hair not brused. (I was dressed.)



I did get it together as I opened the door and saw where my purse was. It has slipped between the shelves and door. So, I went out to meet my ride - so I thought.



I stood out on the road and brushed my hair and waited awhile longer. Then, I decided I would start walking. (We had descussed that possibility.) When I got to the church, she was already there. She had come by on time and I was five minutes late getting to the pick-up point. She had thought about coming to my house but I had told her not to. I don't like for her to have to come back here if for some reason I have to give up on going somewhere.



I did ride home with her.



I shared all of this to tell you not to give up. If God wants you someplace, satan will do all he can to make sure you do not get there. Just keep going. God is with you and you will get there.

© Copyright 2007 Mary Ann Chidlow (UN: merian at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.

Mary Ann Chidlow has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.

Getting Dumped

This is still very raw. I may be doing this to try to find some sense in it as I write. If it will help someone else that's all the better.




This moved way to fast. We kept God in it. We prayed together by telephone every night.



He is in Nebraska. I am in Florida. He left me a message on Reunion or one of those high school sites. I answered. Then waited and waited. I thought about calling him but did not. Finally, he answered on the site. We then switched to email and then to telephone. Four weeks later it was over.



Before it ended, we talked of everything. We could talk for four hours and never run out of anything to say. We watched the Masters - he in Nebraska, me in Florida with a telephone to each of our ears. We commented and found that we had the same favorite players. He was going to teach me to play golf when we finally got to get together.



My favorite part was we always ended with prayer. He said it except for twice when he had very little voice. I loved the prayer covering.



I could hardly wait for the phone to ring every night. We had already exchanged at least two emails each morning.. We were growing so close. We could finish each other's sentences in that short a time.



Then, all of a sudden, the next weekend it got very quiet. On Monday night, I got it out of him. He had found someone new. He told me he had thought about not going to that dinner. A little late now.



We moved too fast even though it had a good base and we were praying together. I think it is God's will for it to end. Who knows what will happen in the future. I am not waiting to see. I am going on with my life and leaving it all up to God.



This is not the finished product. I did want to get it out in case someone else needs it right now.



Trust in God. Depend on God. Everything does not make sense right away. It may take awhile but then you will be able to look back and say "Now, I see". I am waiting for that day..

© Copyright 2008 Mary Ann Chidlow (UN: merian at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.

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Meeting A New Friend

I have lived in Des Moines for three months now. I spend Sunday afternoons trying to get lost on the SkyWalk so that I will see different parts of it and the city. Usually, I am by myself the whole time and just wander. Yesterday was different.




I was wandering in an area that I am vaguely familiar with. I wanted to see what else might be in that area.



I had stopped by one of the huge glass areas and looking for familiar landmarks when a gentleman came up beside me and started telling me what some of the buildings and such were. I was a little concerned, but, there was a guard in the area so I knew I was safe.



He pointed out the park and told me the name. I will correct this next time. I knew the name of the park. I did not know where it was. Then, he pointed out where the Saturday Farmer's Market is when it is in season. I had wondered about it. It is not near as far away as I thought. When it starts, I will be going and plan to buy a lot. We do not have a downtown grocery store here so that will make getting fresh fruits and vegetables a lot easier.



He told me about the different buildings and one that they think they are going to have to tear down as it is just too far gone. Des Moines is a delightful mixture of old and new buildings.



He told me how he had been homeless a couple of times in his life but was now working and had an apartment. He was calling me "mama" by then. LOL He did show me where there was another small grocery store on the SkyWalk and for that I was thankful. I can get everything I need. Sometimes, the choices are just limited.



I was beginning to get tired and wondered if I could gracefully get away and go home. Just then, he said he needed to go on home.



I hope I see him on the SkyWalk occasionally. He was a delightful person to talk to. He did not appear to be down and out.



I know we have to use discretion in talking to strangers, but, when you are in a safe place, careful and don't give out personal information, you can meet some interesting people and learn a lot.



I had been helping with the homeless in Tampa a very long time ago. I had a little knowledge of what to expect. If all the things that were in place had not been there, I don't think I would have talked to him. But, look what I would have missed. I know more about "my" city and met an interesting person.

© Copyright 2009 Mary Ann Chidlow (UN: merian at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.

Mary Ann Chidlow has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.

Sunset On The Beach

God has made a beautiful earth for us. In many places we can still enjoy it.




This morning as I was hanging wet clothes on the line, I saw some purple wild flowers. Wait a minute! Those are the ones that grew wild by the condo on the beach several years ago. I will get some cuttings and bring them up here this evening.



It reminded me of the sunsets we enjoy on the beach every year.



Often, a bunch of us are out under a covered area to watch it go down. Until it does, it gives us a chance to catch up with all that has gone on over the past year. I look forward to that time.



When it does go down it gets a well deserved applause. But, wait a minute. There it is again. Because of the cloud formation we will see it "set" twice tonight. That happens often and we so enjoy it.



After it goes down, some of us might stay and chat but most leave to go to dinner.



There are cams of beaches on the internet. If you do not live close to a beach, maybe you can catch a sunset on one of them. The nice thing about cams is, we can find sunrises on some of them, too. If we use cams from other countries, we can have our sunset or sunrise at almost any time of day.



What beautiful sights has God given you around where you live? Stop and enjoy them. It adds so much to the day. We need to remember to thank Him more often for them.

© Copyright 2006 Mary Ann Chidlow (UN: merian at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.

Mary Ann Chidlow has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.

Determining God's Plans For Our Life

Have you ever had what you thought was just the right plans for a morning or day only to have them squashed right after you got everything ready?




One morning I thought it would be wonderful to sit out on the dock and study my Bible. Well, I packed a satchel with my favorite Bible and several other resources and off to the dock I went. I unpacked it all and laid it out ready to start. Then, I felt a drop and then another. "Okay, God, I know I should pack it all back up and go in. But, then what? Do you have another plan for me or shall I spread all of this out on the living room floor and study there?"



I really don't remember what I did that day but there are two ways to look at this.



Was it Satan trying to keep me from studying and I should not allow him to do it?



Or, was God telling me that this is all well and good but not what I have planned for you right now.



The only answer was to pray about it. But, what if you get no answer from God. Or, at least, you are not ascertaining it if it is coming.



Just wait on the Lord. How hard that is to do. It is one thing that I am having to learn to do right now. It is not easy. "Lord, are you there? Do you hear me?"



Of course, the answer to both of these questions is "Yes." But, sometimes He has other things He wants to teach us as we learn to watch and wait.



Like I said, it is not easy. But, oh so worth it. After having come through a trial, it is such a joy to look back at it and say "That is what you were up to." Don't look up in the sky and ask Him to tell you what He is up to. He will just say "No. Trust me."



Oh, for more patience. But, don't pray for it. LOL

Do You Believe In God's Miracles?

How wonderful it is to be able to trust in God. How wonderful He is about supplying the smallest and sometimes "silliest" wants and needs.




On a serious note, one day I was taking a walk around here. You don't have to walk far to be out in deserted areas. To get to the only hill in the area you are out in the "middle of nowhere".. I like that walk because it gives me more of a work out.



One day, I was on a road behind where I live walking and singing Scripture choruses. A car coming from the other direction stopped and the lady inside asked me if I knew the people in that car. I turned around and looked and said "No". She said "they seem to be following you and I am concerned". The other car pulled out around us and went on its way. I thanked her for her concern and we each went on about our own way. I turned around to wave a thanks to her but the car was not there. I was close to the top of the hill so could see quite a way in the direction she went There were no side roads where she could have turned. Was it an angel coming to rescue me from a bad situation? I believe so.



Another day, I was not feeling well at all and all I really wanted was a Coca-cola. There is no one around here to call on to get one so I just went on wanting. That is, until I just had to take that trash bag to the dumpster. Sick or not, I could not stand the smell of it one more minute. Upon walking up to it, I saw a coke sitting on one of the storage units that are next to the dumpster. An answer from God? I don't know. I thought about leaving it there as it was not mine. But, then I came to my senses. LOL I took it home and put it over ice. Oh, it tasted so good. I never found out where it came from. I really think it was a "God thing." Don't you?



Years ago, when I lived in the city, I wanted some change to get on a city bus. For some reason I had no cash on hand. I had taken my wallet and purse apart looking for change. There was none. Now, I had money in the bank but that was eight miles away. Without a car, that is a bit of a problem. I hoped maybe I would know the bus driver and he would let me pay him later. That would have worked at one time but the bus company had grown so much. I did not know if I would get a bus driver that I knew. So, I put that idea on hold.



For some reason, I looked in my wallet again. There it was in plain sight - enough money for the bus. Had I missed it? Had God not let me see it? Anyway, it was my miracle for that day. I took the next bus to the bank.



Do you believe in miracles from God? I hope so. I sure do. It makes life so much richer.

© Copyright 2006 Mary Ann Chidlow (UN: merian at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.

Mary Ann Chidlow has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.

Proverbs31 Woman

Read Proverbs 31:10-31




Phew! Are you now exhausted?



There have been many who question whether this is one woman, several women or a composite of what the author sees in the perfect woman.



Personally, I use it as a goal to work towards. Realistically, I know it will never happen - but, I can keep improving.



God loves us all right where we are. He would like for us to grow closer to Him. When we are not walking with Him, it grieves His heart. He would love it if we could live out the Bible perfectly every day. But, He knows we cannot. We can ask Him for forgiveness and go forward from there.



Strive to be that virtuous women, but, don't beat yourself up when you fall short. God still loves you and is encouraging you to get up and try again. Ask Him for help with your journey. He is there for us.

Death Of A Loved One

My mind has been reeling with so many memories, emotions, things I want to remember, people I want to talk to.




Who can forget the riddles - way back to the ones that went like "How do you make time fly?" (Throw the clock out the window.) How we wish we could make time slow down now or go back in time for just awhile. Then, there were the ones about the colors. What color is a telephone? "Yellow" (Hello.) Or, what color is rain on the roof? "Pink, pink, pink" So silly, but so special.



I helped her teach Sunday School when I was a teenager. She was a vibrant Christian and always helping some way at the church. That memory brings a smile to my face.



When I was selling Avon in her neighborhood many, many years ago she often wanted me to come by and just sit and talk for awhile. I don't remember what we talked about, but I do remember how special it was.



Later, she is the one who gave me the Guideposts Yearly Devotions in a hard covered book. Oh, how I loved having that. I will miss it this year.



She, my mother and I would go to lunch together from time to time. Now, it was not nearly often enough.



These last few days have been filled with talking to people who knew her and are also special to me. We don't talk often enough. I am going to do something about that. I just pray that we all keep it up. That part has been bitter sweet. Catching up is always such fun but why does it take something like this?



Some of us will gather for the visitation in two days and the funeral in three. Then, will we just go our own ways? I hope not.



Who is that special person to you? Why don't you give them a call? You just might make their day and yours.

© Copyright 2006 Mary Ann Chidlow (UN: merian at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.

Mary Ann Chidlow has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.

Christmas Eve

I was a Christian - had no doubt about it. I was totally immersed in my church and loving every minute of it.




Then, one Christmas Eve in the middle of the sermon my minister told a story that brought the whole thing home to me. I have never been the same.



I have heard this story in many forms since then but this is the one that touched me that night.



One Christmas Eve, a mother and children were getting ready to go to church. The father was sitting in his easy chair by the fire reading the newspaper.



"I wish you would go with us." the mother said.



The father replied "You know how I feel about it. I would feel like a hypocrite if I did".



So, the mother and children left him there.



Shortly afterwords, he heard a tapping. He looked around and finally found the source. It was a bird pecking at the window.



He was afraid the bird would hurt itself so he tried shooing it away. It would not leave. It just kept right on pecking.



So the man went to the garage and opened the door hoping the bird would go in out of the cold. It did not budge.



He tried putting down a trail of bread crumbs to the garage. Still, the bird would not leave the window.



Frustrated, the man finally looked at the bird and said "I wish I could talk to you in bird language so that you would know that I am trying to help you.



Suddenly, he had a "light bulb" experience. He finally realized that God had sent Jesus to tell us all about God and to make us understand.



The man smiled a smile of understanding. He then went to join his family at church.



I pray that you have the realization that I had that night from this little story. It may be little but had such a big impact on me.



I pray you have a blessed Christmas.

© Copyright 2006 Mary Ann Chidlow (UN: merian at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.

Mary Ann Chidlow has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.